The Darklight/Nek Gauntlet

Every night (and I mean every single night) there is a group of Q-holes that camp Wanderlust Fair in Darklight. The chumbuckets love attacking Freeps that come running up to get new quests or turn in finished quests. There are guards there, however, they are just eating donuts or they are busy playing with their bungholes. They don’t protect us youngins from the EVIL Qeynosians.

A few of us got really sick of getting ganked by this group of slugs – so – we started to get our own group together. (What a great idea! duh!) There was yours truly the new x-mangina/bruiser named Zigler, an (ass)assin, a warlock, an inquisitor and a warden vs their 6 whatever the hell they were with a healer. Our ragtag team of Freeps pushed those hogball lickers from Wanderlust Fair to the Nek zone. Over and over, we kicked their butts, but they kept coming back for additional beatings.

Once we got them backed into the hole which is the Nek zoneline (which was their respawn), we killed them over and over again as they regained immunity. Many points during the hour of pummelling, we corpsehumped them — all six of us at times. I know its shitty to camp, but these guys have been terrorizing us every night – so – we wanted to give them a good get the “F” out of here and stay the “F” away party.

It was truly most fun when we pushed them back from the fair to the nek zone, the team did awesome! They all assisted my bruiser, the healers healed me and the clothy that would sometimes get attacked because he’s easier to kill and the DPS ripped holes into whatever i was hitting. 6v6 is the best way to PVP! Not only that, I corpsehumped some potential manginas.

Awww, yeah!

I’m sooo not a mangina! 6/22/2007

This is Mayi! She’s cute, she’s not a mangina and she’s our first “I’m Sooo Not a Mangina!” girl!

This is her toon (We all love Dark Elves!):

and here’s the real deal:

Kudos to Mayi for stepping up to the plate and sending her pics in and for being our first “I’m Sooo Not a Mangina!” girl!

I did’t need to post my own MS Paint picture this week, but I’ll do it anyway! Can you guess what server and guild she is in?

‘Till next week,

Mhyrkos

I’m sooo not a mangina!

Every once and awhile folks like to look at real women, instead of the manginas that have taken over most of Norrath. If you are a female, in real life (IRL for those of you have have forgotten how to speak English), send me a link to your RL picture, a link to a picture of your toon, and the url to your blog. If you could write up a few things about your toon, that would be great (your server and guild, etc.)! All are optional, except for the RL picture. Every Friday, I will show you to the world in my “I’m Sooo Not a Mangina!” post. Send them in! Otherwise, I will have to post MS Paint drawings. You don’t want that! They can get pretty ugly as you have already seen.

Send entries to chris@webgrappler.com

How to Kill a Twink with Your Non-Twink

One thing I have noticed while being a new person on Nagafen is that everyone is a twink — except you. So, how does a non-twink beat a twink? Well, that is what I’m going to show you.

The following images are graphic in nature. Please, view with your own discretion

Step 1:

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Step 2:

Step 3:

Step 4:

Step 5:

There you have it! A perfect strategy to kill a twink with your non-twinked x-mangina toon.

Good luck!

X-mangina/Mhyrkos/Lishian/Zigler

Out Mangina; Out Lishian; Welcome, Mhyrkos!

Hello, readers! I might have mentioned that I have finally settled on my new main. I don’t know how long it will last, but I have settled — for the moment. My new main is Mhyrkos. He’s a human, an assassin and a soon-to-be Neriak citizen on the Nagafen server. He has darkbrown hair with tanned skin and one of those thin beards that line the jaw. It’s kind of funny – He looks very similar to Jason Scott Lee that starred in the Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. I wasn’t aiming to make this toon look like anyone on purpose. I notice the resemblance after the fact. 

I’ve been spending most of the time crafting, harvesting and questing with this toon. It’s very hard starting a new toon on a PVP server that already has an established economy. Most of the other toons in the teens on the server are alts of someone that has been on the server for quite awhile. A true new toon on the server will not be able to compete with twinks in a PVP fight. I don’t care how good you actually are or how well you know your toon, you can’t compete with the twinks. So – I have spent much of the first few weeks crafting, harvesting for rares and with hopes that my new main will be twinked enough to compete. When I’m done equipping, I’ll be hunting Qs fulltime. I don’t plan on level-locking this toon because higher level PVP is much better. How fun could it be only having a few combat arts? Not that fun… Not fun enough to level lock forever. I will only lock when I am PVPing, not when questing. However, I am locking until I get enough gear to compete with the twinks. I don’t want to miss out on some good battles at any tier.

I’m starting to accumulate some good gear. I have a blackened iron BP and legs, a few Adept IIIs, a level 16 master, a level 24 master, one piece of silver jewelry, some alkaline loam (for another adept III) and two hex dolls. A few more weeks, unless I get really lucky harvesting, and I should be ready to pummel T2 Qs. I can’t wait! I just love PvP – its the greatest invention ever! Watch out Qs, the x-mangina is coming for you soon!

BTW: I am only joking about folks donating me some ingame cash! I hope you haven’t taken that request seriously, but I would like to send a big thanks to Asdfmeowboopboop for inviting me to visit his website to find platinum.

 Later,

Lishian Mhyrkos

Manginias Corpishumpus Argues with a Manginaphobe

So! How’s everyone doing? I’m doing great even in my non-mangina toon form. I’ve finally settled with a main on Nagafen. Mhyrkos the assassin.  A non-twinked/non-mangina/gimpo of an assassin. Some female toon even flirted with him. He must be hot or something – or – maybe that toon was a double-sided mangina. (Double-sided mangina is my new word for a mangina toon that is a mangina in real life) If *she* is a mangina, she might be a mangina in real life too. Issues. I’ll just pretend it was some gal that looks like Giselle or something. That why I use to make female toons; just so I could make something that looks like a 5′ 11″ model from Victoria Secret and stare at her butt  for four hours per day — not because I secretly want to be a woman. I’m a damned pervert! No… not really. To be quite honest, I just love women. I don’t cheat on my girlfriends or manually pump blowup dolls – I just love the female body and sometimes its the only way I can stay consistently engaged with anything for more than a few hours. Fortunately, I’ve found that you can make a *tool* of a male toon and attract attention from the female toons that hopefully aren’t manginas. I have something to look at other than my own toon’s butt. Phew!

Last night a guildmate said, “Dudes that make female toons freak me out!” In fact, I’ve seen him write that in guild chat a few times over the past few weeks. Why? I don’t know! You can’t really call it homophobia nor can you say that all males that make female toons are homosexuals. I’m not a homosexual and I’ve had plenty of female toons. Homosexuals and manginas don’t really bother me whatsoever. I don’t know why it bothers others. Are the phobes too stupid to realize that they have nothing to fear? Maybe he has an army of mangina alts that he hasn’t told us about and he feels guilty for some reason.

Why is this dude freaked out? I asked him. (Just for reference, we’ll call this a phobia of some sort. Hmmm…  Let’s call the illness manginaphobia) Guildy the manginaphobe said, “Just because.”  Just because?!!! This manginaphobe expends that much energy from his probably overweight, flesh-roll of a wetwipe, air-stealing body crying about manginas, just because?  I thought about arguing with the bungholio stain, but if he can only come up with “just because” with his antfart-sized brain — I doubt he has the intelligence to argue. So, I let it be and continued to harvest with my non-twinked/non-mangina/gimpo/tool male human assassin named Mhyrkos.

BTW: I won over the urge to make another mangina that I was going to name Manginias Corpishumpus the bruiser. Wound’t it be freaking hilarious to get corpsehumped by Manginias Corpushumpus? I think so!

BTW, part II: I’m not always going to talk about manginas, even though I know that is all you want me to do. It’s just what I have to say at the moment. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 BTW, part III: I haven’t received any ingame mail with donations for my non-twinked/non-mangina/gimpo/tool male human assassin named Mhyrkos yet! What is wrong with you folks? Have a heart! haha!

Until later – Semper Corpishumpus,

Lishian

Get Off My Mangina!

The first time that my mangina toon was killed by another players was within the first few days after Venekor was born. PVP was very, very fun. Especially in the early days of the server when everyone was on an equal playing field, although Freeport had quite a few more in numbers. There were no twinks that rode guild level umpteen million horses and had fabled everying down to the tighty whities. 

I was slaughtered by a group of 3 gnomes. Three little bastards that didn’t give me a chance to even fight back. After my mangina toon croaked, they proceeded to corpsehump/teabag my toon over and over again. One was corpsehumping my mangina’s head, one on the torso and another on the legs. Not just once, but repeatedly moving from sit to stand over and over again. In fact, I went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge and then sat back down at my computer desk and they were still corpsehumping my mangina toon.  I was angry for about 5 seconds, then I watched them laughing hysterically until they left. This had to have been one of the funniest things I have ever seen. SOGA Gnomes look pretty damned funny as it is,  just imagine three of them corpsehumping at the same time… Wicked funny! Since then, I have religiously corpsehumped all of my PVP kills. I have to, I really have to. I might never see one of those three gnomes ever again, but I will get back at them by corpsehumping every single PVP kill I get. Ok, I won’t go that far. Every single pvp kill I get that I have time to corpsehump… I will corpsehump. This was especially fun to do with my mangina toon. Not quite as fun to do with my male toons, but still a little funny.

I’m proud to say that I have corpsehumped at the least, 600 kills on Venekor. That is pretty impressive. /sit /stand /sit /stand 600 times over the course of nearly 1 year. SOE should really keep track of time spent corpsehumping. I think it should even be a leader board item. That would create a new trend on the PVP servers. You might find toons hiding in caves across the commonlands corpsehumping their guildies’ opposite factioned toons. Wouldn’t that be great? Atleast, it won’t ruin the economy and it might be a little less competitive for those that farm masters in the Ruins. The competition is all out corpsehumping themselves. Come and farm your masters! Well, that’s enough for today.

Later!

Lishian

Memoirs of a X-Mangina

I’m back to EQ2… Why? I don’t know really. I missed the game. I didn’t miss my x-main, Risi. I believe that I have retired that toon. Risi and my whole group of mangina toons plus/minus a few male toons are all Q’s on Venekor. I’ve made a few toons on Nagafen and I am enjoying that server. (Taking donations to twink my poor toons!) It seems to be the place to be at the moment. When Neriak came out, I was set on making an evil toon and I noticed that Nagafen was heavily populated – so – I made my bundle of evil there. In fact, it seemed like that every night that I added toons to my new alt army. I’m still trying to decide which of my toons will be my main. I think I have decided on a warden.

So – you’re probably wondering why I have titled this post “Memoirs of an X-Mangina”? Well, surprisingly, I haven’t made any female toons since I came back from Vanguard. Why? I’m not sure really. I don’t have an interest to make female toons anymore. I don’t think that my choice to make a male toon had anything to do with the number of times that I have heard the word, Mangina. Besides, there are plenty of manginas running around on Nagafen to look at. I no longer need to make female toons.  Is there a word for a female that actually has a female toon – or – is there a word for a female that makes male toons? 

How does one point out a mangina? In everquest it is very hard to do. Maybe through the mangina’s use of emotes… a bow here and there instead of a curtsey? My mangina toon acted like a female. She curtsied. I wasn’t playing a female toon because I’m gay or anything like that. I’m straight as straight can be. I wrote using my normal everyday language in tells and in chat. Even females were not able to uncover my manginaness. I would even corpsehump other toons that I pummelled. I don’t think corpsehumping is a IRL female thing to do. It’s wicked funny though.

In Vanguard, it is very easy to spot a mangina. Vanguard has excellent character customization tools. You can change the breast size, chin size, head size, head width, eyebrow size, girth size and even breast lift. Shit! I sound like I’m the shrimp dude from forest gump… fried shrimp, shrimp gumbo, shrimp, shrimp and shrimp. In Vanguard you couldn’t change the butt size though — which is very important for me, a butt man. If you did a quick scan of any heavy populated area, it was easy to find mangina. A mangina is always some of the hottest toons around. Men who create a mangina will spend hours finding the perfect combination of body and face slider tweaks to make their mangina fit for Victoria’s Secret. They will have the largest breasts, with the highest breast lifts and their faces will be perfectly tweeked and they will always be a halfling, human or any sort of elf. You will never ever find an ogre or goblin mangina! Take note of that. You will be wasting your time if you are trying to find an ugly race mangina. Don’t look at the inherently ugly races because you will not find a mangina there.

Well, I don’t have more time to write about manginas. I’ll get back on that subject as soon as I can.

Later!

X-Mangina